Why is it that even those of us who consider ourselves skilled in the discipline of energy conservation throw caution to the wind as soon as we get a hint of more energy? More than 20 years have passed since I initially became ill and I usually would describe myself as a person with average intelligence and common sense.  So how is it possible that I overdid it so badly and didn’t have the good sense to know that I would pay for it? What was I thinking of?

Freedom. I was thinking and feeling freedom. Freedom is defined as “The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.” After my success with the Wal-Mart trip I left the house again the following day. I went to the bank, the post office and Costco. I was out for close to three hours. Later that same day I played ball with the dog. That evening I had friends over. I ate spicy enchiladas. I reveled in the freedom of living for the first time in over two decades. Friday morning my dalliance with the enchilada came back to bite me. Though I loved watching the sunrise, the immense nausea detracted from the majesty of the moment.

Awakening at 4:30 am and not going back to bed before an infusion after a day of intense activity was just about the dumbest thing I have ever done. Everything I did came back to haunt me. Increased flu-like symptoms do not begin to cover the intense pain and general hell of Friday. 

I fell asleep on the way home from the infusion. Once I got home it was all I could do to slip into my PJs and fall into bed. I was rudely awakened several hours later by the feeling of liquid fire burning through my lymph nodes. If I could have breathed deeply I would have been screaming. I couldn’t eat or drink thanks to the pain in my throat. I had a fever that the sun would envy. I soaked my sheets with the sweat of just surviving the worst 24 hours of my life.

I woke up this morning stiff and moody. And utterly triumphant.  I am now certain that Ampligen works.  Why? Never in my sick little life have I ever done as much as I did on Wednesday and Thursday, crashed as hellishly as I did on Friday and felt relatively okay on Saturday. That has never happened before. My crashes last years – months if I’m lucky. Yet, here I am mostly at baseline less than 24 hours after the worst crash of my life.  The difference is Ampligen.

Freedom is on my horizon at long last. Thank you God!  

 

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